The dog with a ridiculous name

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This is Cuddles, the dog with the ridiculous name, who came into our lives via The Dogs’ Trust when our lives were turned upside-down by cancer the first time around.

Back then I was grieving: for the loss of a limb, for the loss of a future with children (the infertility diagnosis was thankfully wrong) , the post-cancer loss of my self-confidence. Getting a dog when our life was an uncertain mess wasn’t the sanest idea  but Cuddles, the car-sick hound with the embarrassing-to-shout-in-the-park name got me through those first dark months. She needed to go out for a walk even when I didn’t want to leave the house, and when I sat down sobbing on the kitchen floor she would pad over and put her head on my lap.  Not judging me, just being there.

 

As the years have gone by, I’ll admit I haven’t paid Cuddles as much attention as I once did. Pete walks her so she is ‘his’ dog really, and life with a full-time job, kids and sport has meant that whilst Cuddles is always a much-loved member of our family, her advancing years mean she’s happy to curl up in her basket out of the way of frantic activity.

And yet, now I’m at home much more on my own, drowning once more in the enormity of my second cancer diagnosis and what this means now for my future and that of my children, Cuddles is playing her part once more. There have been tear-filled hugs lying on the floor (because it’s OK to cry in front of the dog once the kids have gone to school) and some pitifully slow limping walks around the block (because chemo and limb loss don’t mix well).

Today we even staggered up to the field where I collapsed/sat on the soggy grass for a while next to my loyal friend.

Not thinking, not worrying, just being there.

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “The dog with a ridiculous name

  1. Cuddles is gorgeous! She senses your moods and gives you lots of love when you most need it. Our dog Taffy was Rhodri’s best friend and wouldn’t leave his side when he was ill.
    You are amazing to keep your blog going and your humour always shines through no matter how dreadful you must be feeling with chemo & mixed emotions. Keep battling through! You’ve kicked cancer in the butt once and I’m sure you’re going to do it again!! Xx

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  2. This is Chilli the after chemo present to Zack who is now my faithful companion. I am not proud but she even bit someone the day after Zack died because I was crying and they got to close. She had never bitten anyone and has not since!

    Big kiss to Cuddles and you 🐾🐾

    >

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  3. Martin gets such comfort when the dogs chose to sit on him every evening. Not me – the one who takes the treats on our daily walk, gives them a Goodnight biscuit, – but him. When I have had fall- apart days recently Archie has got very concerned and licked my tears away – scratching me in the process of getting up to my face – but tuned in to my distress. Mart had to have a close haircut today as the chemo did it’s dastardly work on his follicles and was convinced the dogs didn’t’ recognise him.They did of course, it was more his issue with a new image. Their unconditional, don’t care what you look like love is essential. Enjoy the newly forged bond with Cuddles.
    Brilliant blog as ever.

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